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Chains and Fetters Purified my Love
In
the midst of this, the year 1943 had begun. Qazi
Sahib's son, whose name was Abdul Rahim, passed
away at the age of twenty months. Everyone,
including his sisters and his close friend, Sain
Molvi Umer, suggested that he should remarry,
but Qazi sahib was adamant in his refusal. Sain
and others tried to persuade him, and
eventually, his wife, Adi Chagbai, also said
that she was now too old to bear children and
that he should marry again so that he might have
an heir. She expressed her complete consent.
Despite her grief for her son, her love for her
husband was profound. She believed that having
his own children would be more beneficial for
both of them. Finally, Qazi Sahib agreed.
However, he did not like the families they
considered, and despite much persuasion, he did
not agree to any of them. They explained that
since he already had a wife, only poor families
with older daughters would agree to their
daughter in his second marriage. One afternoon,
when everyone was asleep, he took the
opportunity to speak to his Kaki [Uncle’s
wife] Sukhbai, and said, "Kaki, I want to
discuss something with you, but you promise me
that only Allah, who is omnipresent and you
would know, and apart from that no one should
hear. He mentioned that he would like to marry
Seth Gul Muhammad’s daughter, Fatima. Bua
[father’s sister - Sukhbai was Fatima, author’s
Bua] was taken aback. She rebuked, "The matter
is very delicate. Firstly, their daughter, Hoor
has just left them only a few months earlier and
secondly, their daughter is young, the only
child left. She is very dear to them. It's a
very difficult matter, but I won't refuse your
request." Qazi Sahib said, "Seth Gul Muhammad is
a wise, appreciative, and understanding person,
and he knows me well. I hope he will not refuse.
I have come to you after much thought and
consideration. As for Adi Wasandi, Seth Sahib
will take care of her. You go with confidence,
and I will wait for you, hoping that Allah will
bring good news." Bua went to Baba straight
away.
Qazi Sahib’s proposal included his daughter Janu
in exchange for Ehsan’s son Ghulam Muhammad.
Actually, there was no shortage of proposals for
me; many people were interested. It is not
appropriate to list but Baba favoured Qazi
Sahib, impressed by his character. Qazi Sahib's
reputation as a noble, respected man had grown.
Since childhood, my father was impressed by him.
Qazi Sahib's name had become renowned in the
town of Diplo as a very noble and honourable
pperson. So much so that when a Mukhtiarkar by
caste Kalhoro came to our town Diplo, he heard
the name with great respect. He told Kaka Molvi
Muhammad, who was the second clerk at the time,
that he had heard of a wise old man named Qazi
Ali Muhammad in your town and wanted to meet
him. Uncle was initially surprised but then said
that Qazi Ali Muhammad was his nephew, a young
man indeed. He said, "No matter his age, bring
him to me." Qazi was not that young; he was
thirty-six years old then. Kaka brought him. The
gentleman was very pleased to meet him and
extended a hand of friendship. Another time,
Molvi Hafiz, the Deputy Commissioner, also came
to Diplo. As per custom, the Panchayat people
went to meet him. My father took Qazi Sahib
along by force. There, the Deputy Commissioner
ordered to serve fruit to the people. He was a
very perceptive person and told Qazi Sahib to
distribute the fruit among everyone. Qazi
distributed it according to each person's merit
and position as he deemed appropriate. When they
were done, Hafiz Sahib said, "I could sense that
this person has the qualities to distribute
correctly," and everyone agreed. He praised him
and said to the gathering, "Your land is
fortunate to produce such people.
Congratulations to you!" The meeting ended, but
my father's admiration for Qazi Sahib increased
even more. So when the proposal came, he thought
of asking Ama, but the problem was that he had
already agreed with Bua Sukhbai. Bua had already
cautioned Baba, "Ada, Wasu is already troubled
by co-wives. Ehsan too is no less than a
co-wife. Now you are arranging the marriage of
your daughter in exchange for his son! You
already arranged Hoor's marriage, which too was
for Ehsan's benefit. And now this decision too
will benefit Ehsan! Moreover, the issue of
co-wives is also present among the Qazis. Will
Wasu accept this decision? You are putting me in
a difficult position." Baba replied, "No, I will
convince Wasu. I will not find such a match for
my daughter. Qazi is a very appreciative person,
a partner in joy and sorrow, compassionate and
like-minded. Can these other young men match
him? Not at all! God willing, this will happen.
You assure Qazi Sahib, and I will convince Wasu
and then congratulate you, God willing.” Bua was
sceptical anticipating my mother’s response,
while Hoor had only gone by five months earlier.
My mother could not overcome that grief. Baba
told Ama at our lower house, where he would rest
in the afternoon, "Wasu, I want to say
something. Your daughter's fate has opened, and
God willing, it will always shine." He said a
few words of prayer and disclosed the proposal
to Ama. My mother was startled and said, "What
are you doing to me, a poor woman? I am already
troubled by co-wives. My bones have been turned
to dust by them. My own mother had a stepmother;
I grew up in those sorrows. Ehsan is on top of
all of them. I have not forgotten Hoor's pain.
Now you are making my little innocent daughter
sacrificed for Ehsan! The proposal is such that
just mentioning the name makes my hair stand on
end. Fear God, that Authority is great." My
mother said what she had to say and calmed down.
Father listened quietly without uttering a word.
In the end, he said, "There is no hurry. Think
with a cool heart and mind. These proposals you
mention are not bad either. I have considered
them. But our daughter is young and in front of
our eyes. Hoor is gone. Who knows where these
young men will get their jobs? I am now closed
to depart. Where will you find a hand to hold?"
"Where is the mountain man, and where are you
trying to hold it?" Don't be foolish, think.
In the end, he convinced my mother by giving her
assurances and said, "I pray that this obedient,
and man of fortunes, Qazi, will respond to you
more than your own daughter. You will call him
once, and he will return your call seven times!
He is just like that." In the end, the decision
was made. I did not like it much because I
preferred people of my age with jobs and
established positions. What is seen as beautiful
in front of the eyes is more appealing. But my
father's thinking was according to his own
understanding and wisdom. Anyway, what was
destined and approved by nature, happened.
Bua happily informed Qazi sahib. He convinced
his wife, Adi Chagbai. Remarkably, her father
Kaka Salah Muhammad and mother Nani Malookan
came together for the proposal. Kaka Salah
himself asked Baba for my hand. The next
morning, Adi, my future co-wife and the
children's elder mother, brought the customary
gifts herself. She was a patient and noble
woman, whose greatness deserves praise. It
wasn't easy, but she accepted. Ehsan, however,
was overjoyed – two sons already, now a good
news about the third son’s relation! Such are
God's plans!
Qazi Sahib then went above and
beyond. Baba, Ama, and I became his focus. He
showered us with appreciation and respect,
astonishing everyone. Ama and Baba forgot Hoor's
sorrow – such is the healing power of love,
affection, and appreciation. What can I say? May
the True Master reward this man who created such
goodness, who was medicine for the pained, a
refuge for the helpless. He rejuvenated my
parents. His wife, in-laws, and neighbours
showered us with affection. Subhan'Allah.
He arranged the engagement with great
enthusiasm, ordering gold from Karachi for
exquisite jewelry. Balu Sonaro, his friend,
crafted beautiful pieces, which I later gave to
my eldest daughter-in-law, Shahida Perveen. He
even held a formal face-unveiling ceremony at
home. For all the efforts he made to make us
happy, may Allah Sain grant him a great reward
there and seat him in the highest ranks of the
lush gardens of Paradise, Insha'Allah.
This is the voice of my heart, and also that of
my parents. There is no exaggeration in this.
The engagement lasted a year and a half,
progressing beautifully and amicably. Finally,
Baba agreed to the wedding at Qazi Sahib's
request. Both Ama and Baba happily gave
permission and prepared. I also prepared myself.
I embroidered all my dowry clothes myself. Ama
and I worked together on the bhart,
pearls, sequins, etc. According to the customs
and resources of the time, it was very good.
Qazi's family also did their part generously.
Adi (the children's elder mother) embroidered
the entire piro [dowry gifts from groom’s
side] herself, including the kanjro
[blouse] and pado [traditional skirt], a
white chunni [shawl] embroidered by her
own hands. That was her magnanimity. With great
love and affection, she surprised everyone. It
is an acknowledged fact. May Allah Sain grant
her a high status in paradise. Otherwise, this
was a very difficult phase for a woman. Anyway,
the wedding took place on 19th March 1945. I was
given the middle room in the new house, the same
veranda, and the chaudro [front room].
Geena's (Qazi shib’s daughter) family chose the
eastern room, considering it auspicious. Upon
arrival, they welcomed me in the best possible
way they could. Qazi's actions are beyond
description. Allah Tabarak wa Ta'ala gave me the
ability, showed His grace, that in return, I
made every possible effort according to my
capacity to lay myself down for them, so that
all family members would remain pleased and
happy with me. The dream Qazi had seen should
find its true interpretation. Apart from "Ji"
[Yes], there was no other word on my tongue. I
told Adi sincerely, "You are equal to my mother;
the relationship that we have is indeed
delicate, but mine with you won't be like that.
You do the elders' work, as per our custom, as
if we were like like mother-in-law and
daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law handles
cooking, meaning kitchen responsibilities, while
livestock work, churning milk, etc., which is
the elders' task, you may do. Please kindly
accept that; I will do the daughter-in-law's
work." Within a week, I took charge of the work,
although I knew nothing, didn't even know how to
cook rice properly. But I was confident they
wouldn't find fault with my raw efforts. And so
it happened. Adi taught me work like a mother.
Qazi was also very happy with that. Neighbours
were also surprised, "Ali Muhammad's house is
bustling with activity. 'Ji Sain, Ji Sain' [Yes
Sir, Yes Sir] is going on. Wow, bhai, wow!" At
that time, rationing was in effect. Qazi used to
sell cloth at night to people from the
countryside because the city people had their
turn during the day, and the rural folks at
night, so sometimes it would be one or two in
the night. Those was winter nights. I used to
sleep less, lest Qazi return and I wouldn't
know. In the room, I would keep water, a clay
pot for warming food, and sango [stool]
for wudhu [ablution] – meaning, I kept
everything arranged so that if he desired
anything, I wouldn't have to refuse. By the time
Qazi finished his prayers, I would have the food
ready. If he felt like pakoras
[fritters], they were ready! Just the command
was needed. Qazi would be pleased. Meaning, the
house became a garden. Early morning, Baba and
Ama would both come, sit in the cool air of the
chaudro, and have breakfast with Qazi.
Adi would fill the huqqo and bring it for
her ‘Ada Gul’ and ‘Adi Wasandi’. Bua Halima
would come calling "Ada Gul, Ada Gul." For her,
‘Adi Wasandi’ arrived as if some saints had
walked in. Bua would come and sit. Adi Samani,
my sister, whom Baba called Hoor, also gave the
same love as the title Baba had given her, and
fulfilled it just like that. Adi Bhanbai would
also arrive. Baba was everyone's brother!
I felt my happiness in making all
my family members happy according to my limited
understanding and intellect, and my great
parents were very happy, and Qazi Sahib's
happiness knew no bounds. Along with that, the
childhood feeling of being useful to someone was
also there. Whenever any poor person in the town
needed help, I would wholeheartedly collect
donations for them. At night, I would press Qazi
Sahib’s legs. I would also press Adi Halima’s
legs whenever she would visit us. Taking care of
them both was a part of my duties especially Adi
Halima, because my father had advised me to care
for her as she was the pillar of the entire Qazi
family. Adi Halima used to wear Pado
[traditional skirt] and Gajj [traditional
shirt front]. My parents had given me a Pado
as part of my dowry, which was very good
according to the customs of that time. There was
a village named Mehra near Pangrio town, known
for its craftsmanship. They made very good
Pado there, which my father had given to
Hoor in her dowry and kept one for me as well.
Hoor passed away soon after her marriage. My
father was very saddened. By the time of my
marriage, the custom of wearing those
traditional Pado had somewhat diminished,
so those traditional clothes were kept aside,
but my father insisted that even if you don't
wear them, don't sell them either because we are
very saddened by Hoor’s loss. We didn't need to
sell them. The mention of Adi Halima continues;
she used to wear those Mehra Pado, but by
the time of my marriage, their dye had faded.
She told her brother Qazi sahib, “Ada, now
Mehra’s people have abandoned their work, and
those Pada [plural of Pado] are no longer
available. Now, you may just get me my Pado
dyed from ‘Jetho’ Khatri so that I could wear
them.” Her brother was very saddened that Halima
would have to wear a Pado dyed by Jetho Khatri.
When I came after having lunch, I saw that Qazi
Sahib's face was downcast. I would look at
Qazi's face intently, just as Qazi Sahib would
look at mine, because this is a cooperation that
keeps the boat of life sailing, where there is
also a feeling of love and affection.
Artificiality doesn't last long; it will reveal
itself at some point. Therefore, I advise my
children, including my daughters, sons,
grandsons, granddaughters, and daughters-in law,
to practise this because it is beneficial for
everyone. Indeed, it is a piece of advice for
every sensible person to love their benefactor
truly so that they can live happily and give
peace to others. So, the matter was that I asked
Qazi Sahib, "Today, you seem a bit thoughtful to
me." Qazi Sahib would never hide anything from
me because we had become familiar with each
other's nature over time. So, he said, "If you
give your Mehra Pado to Adi Halima, she will
bless you greatly." I said with a smile, "That's
not a big deal. You can give my Pado to her; I
will be very happy if you and Adi Sahiba are
pleased. That will be my greatest happiness.
What more could I want?" Qazi Sahib said, "I
remember Seth Sahib's words that if you don't
wear them, don't sell them either." I reassured
him, saying, "That was about selling; this is
about a gift - our happiness . I will convince
Baba; it's not a big deal for me." I insisted on
Qazi Sahib, and when he was resting, I went to
Baba, who was sleeping in his room downstairs as
usual, and Ama was pressing his legs. Seeing me
at this odd hour, they were very surprised and
said, "Amri, how did you come at this time" I
smiled and said, "Today, I have come to chat
with my Baba." Then, in the course of
conversation, I asked permission for the Pado
from Baba in such a way that Baba was impressed.
He said, "Ama, if Qazi Sahib is going to be
happy with this, then remember, he is the
comfort of our hearts, the light of our eyes,
and our divine fruit. I am also happy." He asked
Ama, "Go just now, take the Pado from Fatoori,
wrap it in a cloth, and make sure no one hears
about it. When we go to Fatoori in the morning
and Adi Halima comes, Fatoori will give it to
her, and I will be very glad and will also pray
for you."
Before Qazi sahib could wake up, I had already
returned, and he didn't even notice. Qazi Sahib
went to the shop again, and I thought of
completing the suit with my Gajj. One piece was
already made for me but not yet worn, and there
was a Chunni from my dowry that I had worn once
or twice and had embroidered with my own hands.
I knew that Adi would like that very much. Ama
quickly prepared the suit. In the morning, when
Baba and Ama came, Adi also came in. I
immediately called Adi inside the room and said,
"Adi, please wear this suit." Adi said, "What
are you doing, dear?" I said, "Adi, this is
worth nothing before you, please wear it." She
happily wore it, and draped the shawl, then came
outside. She told her brother, "Look, Ada, what
she has done for me." Her brother was surprised
but also happy. Baba and Ama were all pleased
and congratulated me. I knew that Adi Halima had
a special place in her brother's heart, and
nothing in the world was above sister Halima
because she had raised him like a son after
passing away of their mother. She was herself
unfortunate because her husband had passed away
at a young age, and she had no children of her
own. Her wealth was all her brothers and
sisters, but she had a deep love for her younger
brother. Father had advised me, "Amri, Adi
Halima is the fortress of Qazi neighborhood and
just like your mother-in-law. If you keep her
happy, you will rule not only your house but the
entire neighbourhood, and she will handle
everyone." This proved true. Sometimes, when
people in the neighborhood or others would say
something negative about me out of jealousy, she
would rebut, "Dears, she has earned her place
with humility and has won the heart of her
husband." May God bless Adi in her heavenly
abode. She never hurt me, and I can honestly say
she loved me dearly. The thing is, no human is
an angel who never makes mistakes, but even
then, recognizing and valuing someone and
forgiving them is truly virtuous, and such a
person is considered great.
 Children
The first child born was Rehmu on 16th
November, 1945, in the evening of Eid al-Adha at
8 pm. Adi Halima named her ‘Rehmat’, saying, "Ada,
this is God's blessing. My child will be very
fortunate." When Rehmu was one and a half years
old, Nasim was born on 21st May,
1947. It seemed like a twin was being nurtured.
The family fully cooperated, meaning Adi Wadi (Adi
Chagbai) and Geena loved Rehmu dearly and would
rock her all day. Baba and Ama were very fond of
Rehmu. Baba would ask Ama, "Go, bring my little
doll."
For seventeen months, the household ran
smoothly, but then a lot of jealousy arose among
the neighbors, saying, "She is managing the
household expenses and has taken control of her
husband," as people say. I continued as I was,
but the world is, as the world could be! In
Ismail's house in the neighborhood, there were
two wives of the same age, and there was some
friction between them. Our house, in comparison,
was running very well with peace and harmony. In
Nani Malukan's house, Adi Asoo and Masi Rehmat
were aunt and neice, like one soul, they both
were envious of me. And to side them were Masi
Rehmat's Mother-in-law Nani Malukan and her
daughter Sona married to Ishaque Pattu. How
could they leave Rehmat's side? So the entire
neighborhood was in turmoil. Getting out of such
a big mess and surviving it was quite onerous.
On top of that, the source of income in our
house had significantly decreased because Qazi
Sahib was suffering from piles - a condition
that prevented him from working. He was the only
bread earner for the family. The household
expenses had to be managed cautiously and with
good conduct so that people wouldn't ridicule.
Once, during Eid season I gave children’s
clothes for sewing to Haji Bhaledino's sister,
Adi Wasu, who used to sew clothes in those days.
She was overworked as bundles of clothes would
pour into her which caused delay. Eid was close,
and the clothes for Geena, Janu Rehmu, and Nasim
were to be sewn. She asked for fourteen rupees.
I felt very concerned about how we, as simple
people, could manage such expenses! I brought
the clothes back. On way back I stayed for a
while in Nani Karima’s house. Her Daughter, Masi
Asudi, Muhammad Mian’s mother, had learned
sewing from Mama Umer in the meanwhile. Finding
me worried, Nani Karima said, "Ama, your face
looks downcast, what's the matter?" I replied, "Nani,
everything is fine." Seeing the clothes, she
said, "Where would you get these sewn?"I
explained the whole matter. They had a lot of
affection for us and said, "Asudi is your aunt.
She has a lot of clothes. If you come here, she
will teach you a little work, and you can sew
your children's clothes too. If you get any
other sewing work, you can do it here. Ada Qazi
has a large family. This is a big
responsibility. My whole house is running on
Asudi’s income. She is your aunt."Masi Asudi
seconded and said, "Ama is right. You can come,
and I will make you proficient in two months." I
consulted Qazi Sahib, and he said, "It's a good
idea." In the evening, I discussed it with Baba
and Ama, and they both were very happy and said,
"Don't worry about the children; we will take
care for them. You can go after finishing the
housework early." In the morning, I would pray
Fajr; finish the housework by sunrise; send Qazi
Sahib to the shop; and then go. I would return
to prepare lunch so that there wasn’t any
disturbance in the routine. I would prepare
lunch, and wait for Qazi Sahib to return, serve
him lunch, see the children, and then continue
with the same routine.
In
the meantime, Qazi Sahib's health condition
worsened, and his surgery became imminent. We
had some ten-rupee bonds, which we exchanged and
sent him to Hyderabad. There, Mama Misri, Nani
Makan, and Ibrahim lived, and he stayed there
and had the surgery through the courtesy of Dr.
Saleh. Now, the only earning member of the
household was also sick, but God gave us much
strength and faith. The blessings of the
Almighty are countless. Without taking any
loans, we managed the house with the ten-rupee
bonds we had. Qazi Sahib would write such
letters that would break one's heart, and I
would write back with comforting words, saying,
"Don't worry, God willing, everything will be
fine." It had been two months since I learned
the work of sewing. At that time, it had been a
month and a half since Qazi Sahib's operation.
Qazi Muhammad Ismail was there to take care of
him. Mama Misri would bring food. Qazi Sahib had
given them some money, which they cautiously
used for his expenses. Time passed in that way.
I wrote him a letter saying that I had learned
the work of the machine, and now, with God's
help, if the machine arrives, it would be very
good. This miracle is also worth writing about.
That day, Mama Muhammad Usman Diplai went to the
hospital to enquire for Qazi Sahib’s health.
There, he said, "Qazi, you are a noble person
and a friend. I want to help you. I am making a
deal for cotton seeds. Pray that whatever profit
is made, I will give you half of it." Qazi said,
"Ada, this seems like ‘Interest’ to me. I have
neither money nor anything else." He replied, "I
also have nothing. I am placing my trust in
God." There Kaka Parto was also present. He
said, "I am quite fortunate, include my share,
and you will surely gain." Everyone laughed and
agreed. In the evening, a profit of twenty-one
hundred rupees was earned, with seven hundred
rupees going to each party. That day, Qazi was
discharged from the hospital. He stayed at
Diplai’s house for two or three more days and
bought a Singer sewing machine with all the
tools for me for three hundred and fifty rupees.
With the remaining three hundred and fifty
rupees, he covered his travel expenses and
returned home safely. We were astonished to see
the machine. Qazi Sahib smiled and said it was
indeed a miracle.
The next day, I took the machine to Masi Asudi's
house to further hone my skills. Masi, used to
give just a few clothes to people in a months,
but with my arrival people started receiving
clothes from me quite expeditiously. Both, Masi
and the people were happy. I did this work
without any compensation in order to learn, and
also to make a name for myself among people.
Eventually, Masi herself said, "Dear, now you
should take some money too," but I did not take
it as I did not feel that right. Eventually I
agreed. Due to good and fast sewing, people
started coming to me. At that time, Zarina
Mithwani was born, and I sewed her frocks very
beautifully, earning five rupees from it. A few
days later, Masi Asudi said, "Dear, because of
you, my business has decreased, but it's not
your fault. I have brought this fate upon
myself. Now take the machine at your home and
sew there." I took the machine, received her
blessings, and came home.
In
the meantime Qazi Sahib also re-opened his shop.
I was on my mission with zeal. Ama would take
care of the children and I, just do it, just
finish it, do this, do that, as if I was in a
race! Would take money out of the machine’s
drawer and spend. Clothes started pouring in.
People from the countryside would bring their
‘Lungi’ and other clothes to our shop, and Qazi
Sahib would tell them, "I will have these sewn
for you in no time." They would happily give
them. Mama Rahu would bring them, and I would
immediately sew them, leaving other work aside.
In that way, great prosperity came to the house.
Money would keep coming from the machine's box -
unaccounted! Qazi Sahib's loving praise, my
parents' cooperation, and the family's good care
encouraged me so much that my heart was
uplifted. I never felt tired because love has
the energizing effect!
Nasim was seventeen months old, and she was
weaned. I got pregnant in the meanwhile. Aziz,
the elder, was in my womb. work continued at its
pace. In July 1949, Aziz, the first one, was
born. Baba was informed by Ama, who was waiting
with great hope, that a son would be born to
Fatoori. But he was informed of the baby girl.
Tears welled up in my father's eyes, and he
said, "Wasu, you have killed me with this news.
Now I will not survive. My heart is broken. My
days are over. I pray for you that God shows you
the happiness of Fatoori and grants her a pair
of sons with long life, good health, and
well-being. But I will no more be there to see
them. I am leaving with this longing." Within a
day or two, Baba developed a fever that lasted
for ten months. Then, my poor mother, who had
endured my father's pain, faced another ordeal.
What fate had in store is beyond description.
Baba's illness and the care of the little girl,
along with people's taunts, were too much to
bear. Even the sincere ones turned their eyes
away. The poor girl was born with such a fate
that no one, except my mother and me, would
remove the veil from her face. Even Qazi Sahib
turned away from the girl and me, stopping his
visits to our room. The veranda and Adi’s room
or the courtyard became his world. It was as if
we were not even there! Now, whom could we share
this pain?
When Aziz was born, some old women told my
mother that if a fresh goat skin is taken off at
the time of slaughter and the woman is wrapped
into it , a son will be born. We used to perform
the 'Aqiqah' on the fifth day anyway, and they
indeed placed that skin on me. I remember that
time so vividly, and even today, when I talk to
my children about it, tears come to my eyes. I
tell my sons, “I had burried myself alive for
your arrival!” That scene was truly like a grave
when that skin clinched and caused me pain, I
remember it well, but for the arrival of these
beloved ones, I considered all this pain as a
joy. My children might understand this when they
read it. Sometimes, wiping away tears, I and Ama
would step outside with a bold face so that no
one would notice the pain inside. Qazi sahib’s
first family was happy inside, but outwardly,
they maintained a solemn appearance. This was
merely a test given by nature, which had to be
endured with patience. When Aziz was three
months old, the poor child fell ill. Baba's
illness also prolonged, and finally, in October
1949, on the day of Eid, Baba bid us farewell
and departed. Now, Ama was left alone in her
grief, and I too was left alone to face ordeal
of life, calling Allah, and hoping for better
days. Holding her in the cradle, the little girl
made soft cries, which even now, as I write, I
feel echoing in my ears. That time too passed.
Alas, the little one departed!
Our time continued as it always would. Qazi
Sahib also maintained the same distanced
conduct. The poor soul gathered our sorrows and
left. Then, after a full twelve months, our Aziz,
the younger, arrived with her good fortunes on
August 8, 1950. Thanks be to God. Good days
returned. Ada Muhammad Haroon, Qazi Sahib's
elder brother, had his second marriage. It had
been fifteen days since then. When he heard that
a child was born to Ali Muhammad, he came after
offering the evening prayer, smiling, and said,
"Sister, show me this Bakhtawar (fortunate). I
interrupt here, when my marriage had taken
place, at that time, we were five brides. Ada
Muhammad Haroon's daughter, Sona, now in Umerkot,
she came and told Ada Muhammad Haroon, “Baba,
all the brides are pretty, but sister Fatoo is
like lightning.” Ada had a habit of laughing a
lot. He was a very pious man, a lover of God
Almighty. He laughed and said, “Sonal, then
where will this lightning strike?” Sona, a
blessed girl, said, “From the corner of the
neighbourhood to Kaka Ali Muhammad's house, it
will strike.” Ada laughed again and said, “Ama,
then the whole neighborhood will be lightened.”
He came to see Aziz and asked me, “Adi, show us
this Bakhtawar.” Ama brought Aziz, who was very
pretty and chubby. He said, “Praise be to God
Almighty, who has given you such a beautiful
child.” He prayed and gave a gift, and consoled
me, saying, “Sister, do not worry, God willing,
God will bless you with a son too. If you are
pleased with the birth of these daughters, God
will be pleased with you, and their guardians
will also come, God willing. Allah is very
kind.” Such were the patient and pious people
whose faces never showed signs of sorrow or
grief. May God shower His mercy, so they remain
content. Ameen. Aziz, even as a child, seemed
very fortunate, with a very good appearance.
When she was six months old, there was a
children's fair, and she won the first prize.
Now, the time for our children's schooling
began. When Rehmu turned five, she was enrolled
in school. It was the same school where I had
studied. Ama would take her daily. The education
continued, but the school's furniture had
deteriorated, and the girls would sit on the
floor. We would send a small mat from home,
which Ama would take along. Rehmu would wear the
best clothes among all the girls, staying clean
and tidy. She was also intelligent in her
studies, which is why Adi Halima loved her
dearly. Moreover, in her school, she was the
leader among all her friends. In the
neighborhood, the children called her the
leader. She would also tell interesting stories.
When Rehmu passed the second grade, Nasim was
enrolled, and we were happy, and Qazi Sahib was
also pleased because the children's results were
good.
In
1953, Roshan, the elder, also arrived. By God's
grace, this girl was very beautiful in
appearance and a delight to the eyes. Adi Halima,
who had been hoping for a son for six or seven
years, had prepared a golden ring and a child
wrap. She brought it on the night of the sixth
day. Seero [sweet dish] was also prepared
with great enthusiasm by Qazi Sahib. Adi Halima
said, “Ada, now God will also give us a son.
This daughter will be fortunate and bring a
brother.” We were now all playful with her, but
the neighbors sarcastically commented that it
seemed as if Ali Muhammad had made a wish that
if a fifth daughter was born, there would be
great celebrations. Qazi sahib responded that
this feast is not for the birth of a son or
daughter. This is for the thanks giving to
Almighty Allah that the mother has risen safely
from the bed after child birth. We are grateful
that she has safely crossed this stage and is
now on her feet. Isn't that something to be
thankful for? As for the ritual of sacrifice of
an animal, it is part of divine duty. Anyhow,
every child has their own destiny. That poor
little one also left us at the age of six
months. Those innocent eyes are still preserved
in this heart. Kaki Fatima looked at the little
one and said, "Little Roshan! Go this time but
come back with two brothers.. Make us a
promise.” She left leaving us crying. According
to the neighborhood custom, a meal was prepared.
When it was time to serve the meal, Bhajai
Walhbai went to the kitchen to fetch my food,
where the children's elder mother was sitting.
Adi might have been tired from working. Their
conduct had been changing slowly, but we still
held our heads high. So, according to Bhajai,
she said, "Adi, we are tired from working, and
this woman's (me) cradle is on the floor every
other day." Bhajai didn't disclose this to me
but whispered with my mother, who had covered it
up, so those words didn't affect us. All these
hardships were for the sake of the beloved.
Poor Roshan indeed kept her
promise, for, in the twelfth month after her
passing, on that day, on that night, August 26,
1954, at two in the morning, Allah, the Master
of universe sent someone to quench our thirsty
eyes and brighten our desolate hearts. Qazi
sahib, with hopeful eyes, waited and waited,
counting the moments of separation, and finally
left for Jamesabad on Wednesday. On Thursday
night, at two in the morning, our home blossomed
with the mercy of the Merciful Lord. How can I
describe that moment! I thought, "Oh God!
Perhaps this is the sixth daughter!”. Then the
midwife Walan said, "Congratulations, you have a
son!!" Ama and Adi Halima were eagerly waiting,
holding their breath in anticipation. The
midwife told Geena, "Girl, get up and give the
good news to the neighbors. Thank God, your
father's courtyard is open, and your house is
brightened." Geena went though, but the
happiness was not as it should have been on her
face. The midwife cleaned the newborn and handed
him to Adi Wadi. Adi looked at him and said in a
complaining tone, "Son, you have come, but your
parents did not treat us well.” On our part,
though, we had tried our best according to our
circumstances, but what could be done? This is
such a relationship that no matter what you do,
even if you turn to stone, the heart cannot be
satisfied. The only apt response was to remain
silent, for what would happen if, as Sachal
Sarmast said: 'If I remain silent, I become a
polytheist; if I speak, I become an infidel.'
Who can understand this saying? What can I say,
that night was not a night at all; it was a
bright day. Crowds of people gathered from all
over the town, and congratulations were
exchanged. In the morning, when the sun rose,
tears were in my eyes in gratitude. I prayed, "O
Lord, you are so gracious. How did this pleasant
breeze return, and how did these eyes received
this light? Glory be to You." The worries left
us like a whirlwind. Thank you, Allah Sain! Adi
Halima said, "Dear Muhammad, God has brought you
to us, the desolate souls. This place was
eagerly awaiting your arrival. You have come
well, and the One who sent you has done great
favors, for the sound of congratulations is
heard in this house. Thanks be to God." There,
in Jamesabad, Qazi Sahib was anxious, wondering
what would happen as I was very ill, and the
time was very delicate. The longing had reached
its peak. What should I write here? Whatever I
write, you all know very well. Qazi Muhammad
Ismail sent an urgent telegram, which was
received by Qazi sahib at nine in the morning.
The train was supposed to arrive at Jamesabad
Station at ten. At our shop, Mama Muhammad Umer
and Mama Sahibdino Janwani were sitting. The
telegram man came and delivered the telegram.
Qazi said later, “With trembling hands, I took
the telegram. I did not have the courage to open
it, fearing what might be in it. Muhammad Umer
took the paper from me, opened it, and said, "Oh
Qazi, congratulations to you. You have been
blessed with a son." Mama Sahibdino started
jumping with joy. Mama Umer asked Qazi sahib,
"You quickly reach the train; I will bring the
luggage. Don't let the train leave." Qazi Sahib
said, "Let me read the telegram, lest it be a
joke." Mama Sahibdino called for his friend's
vehicle and took Qazi sahib to the station. Mama
Umer also reached there, and the train arrived.
Qazi departed for Diplo. At that time, there was
camel travel. Upon reaching Naukot, the camel
was barely found. Here, in Diplo, at two in the
night, there was a sound at the door. Adi Halima
and we were waiting. She said, "O children,
congratulations to you!”
“Today, too, the pathways are
lightened;
The night of meeting has brought
many joys;
Pearls abound, this one has
glittered the hearts;
Leela’s heart has been relieved
of all burdens."
-Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai
Ghulam Muhammad too woke up to welcome his
father. What can I say, there is no need to
write an account; by the grace of God, Ghulam
Muhammad's hand was placed naturally like a
salute! Ama said, “Aba, look, he is saluting
you!" All the family members and neighbors came,
and once again, the atmosphere of joy returned.
Qazi Sahib could not utter a word; the tears
rolled from his eyes and fell on Ghulam
Muhammad's cheeks. Ama said,
"Bhambhore was desolate, Aari Jam
came and brightened it.”
The birth of this son brought joy to countless
people, beyond measure. Qazi sahib’s place was
such in the hearts of the people that everyone
empathized with him in his longing for a son.
Hundreds of telegrams and letters followed, and
this continued for many days. Among the letters,
there were four filled with love beyond
description - worth a treasure. These are
recorded in Qazi Sahib's autobiography. These
included letters from Chacha Molvi Muhammad
Sahib, Ada Karimdino, Ada Khan Sahib Muhammad
Qasim, who was the Mukhtiarkar in Larkana at
that time, Mama Misri, and Ismail, Mama Ahmed
Kamanani's son. In Chacha's letter, the
translation of "Surah e Ikhlas" is worth
reading, and there was also a verse from Shah
Sahib:
"All in the world, are your
attributes;
The favors of the Lord are
countless;
How many can I count with my
tongue?"
-Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai
And another verse from Shah sahib written by Ada
Ismail Kamanani is also recorded in Qazi Sahib's
book:
"In the hut, has come the
merciful stream;,
The beloved has come home like a
shower of rain.”
Then,
“The beloved has revealed his
sight,
The burden has lifted from the
heart,
The separation has ended,
Hopes and spirits have been
fulfilled,
With the sight of the beloved.”
-Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai
In
this way, Ada Khan Sahib (Qazi Muhammad Qasim -
Qazi sahib’s cousin and brother-in-law, husband
of Adi Aasu) also wrote a very beautiful and
lengthy letter filled with Shah Sahib's verses
and emotions. Ada Muhammad Usman Qazi was there
with him in Larkana, and he brought a bagful of
pretty clothes, a gold ring, gold buttons, and
the letter filled with love. The love and
affection of the people, which we witnessed at
the arrival of this beloved boy, is beyond
estimation. The prayers and love of the
relatives and every individual of the town were
unforgettable. Even now, we offer them prayers
and will continue to do so for the rest of our
lives. May the gracious Lord grant them great
reward.
Among the neighbors, my sister
Adi Samani did wonders by taking care of my
children and serving me diligently. What can I
write about the importance she gave to a single
word from Baba, saying, "You are our Hoor." The
way she fulfilled this, my pen and tongue lack
the strength to describe it. However, I do
regret that if we hadn't called her ‘Hoor’, she
too might not have left us so soon at that young
age! But what can be done, the hand of fate was
strong, and it deprived us of that happiness.
That cruel death which has separated many loved
ones from each other, separated us from our ‘Hoor’.
Then Adi Halima would come each morning at the
time of massage, oil and kohl to the newborn,
very happy. But alas! that happiness did not
last long for us.This rosy faced boy, as we used
to call him, "Such a face is rare to see." A
face that would cool the eyes and make one
wonder where this beauty came from! Little did
we know that Ghulam Muhammad had come only to
hearten us for a while, and then the cruel death
snatched our joys from us. A blow, as it was!
For two months, everything went very well; his
father stayed for two weeks and then left,
returning in fifteen or twenty days, still
happy. After two months, the red rosy cheeks
began to turn pale. At that time, Dr. Saleh
Sahib was going to London for his MRCP, and we
called for him. He said there appears nothing
wrong. All the women around were bewildered, all
saying, the child was perfectly healthy. He left
saying that, but we felt inside that the child
was not well. He used to be very bright, and
even his crying was pleasing to us, but then
suddenly he had become silent. Even if we tried
to make him cry, he wouldn't. His father came
again and said that the boy didn't have the same
charm. In those days, Dr. Jafri, Moula Bakhsh
was transferred to Diplo, and we called for him.
He said the boy’s mother was anaemic. She should
be given injections. The liver of the child
might too be affected. Medicines were given, and
the treatment lasted for fifteen days. The boy
seemed fine to us, and my weakness also
decreased a bit. We said, "God is the all
powerful." Then Sain Moulvi Ahmed Mian, who was
my teacher, would pray and write amulets. Ama
and I went to him. Sain read something and told
me, "Daughter, had you read a Wazifa?" I said, "Sain,
I read the Wazifa of Surah e Yaseen.” He said,
"Daughter, that Wazifa is very heavy. I will
give you this amulet and also pray." It was
Wednesday, and he said if he survives until
Thursday, then he is yours. The attack was
severe; only if you had come earlier!” We took
the amulet, but fate had to be fulfilled. Qazi
Sahib said he would come from Jamesabad. On
Thursday morning, Ama went to the barn to milk
the cow. I put Ghulam Muhammad to sleep and went
to the bathroom. From there, I started washing
dishes. Adi Chagbai was churning milk and asked
me how the boy was. I said, "God willing, he is
very well today." He had a good appetite, but
then suddenly there was such a scream that I
left the pot and ran towards the boy. Geena was
filling embroidery. Ghulam Muhammad was in my
hands. Qazi sahib couldn't get the bus and
returned. I hurriedly came to the veranda and
gave Ghulam Muhammad milk in the cradle. Milk,
what milk! He didn't take the essence. As if he
said, "Ami, I am no longer yours, Baba’s, or
Nani's!" Cry upon cry! Qazi sahib ran to get the
doctor, but unfortunately, he stumbled on the
way and couldn't make it. Rehmu informed Ama,
and she also came. Ghulam Muhammad's eyes were
on the ceiling. "Son, O son!” Even if I offer
milk, he wouldn't take it. The whole
neighborhood gathered, all became one soul. The
doctor came without delay. Hitting his head
hard, he said, "Qazi sahib, what has happened
here? There's nothing wrong with him. O Lord,
why is this child slipping from our hands?"
Alas, alas! Wailing, at six in the evening, he
left his mother, father, and grandmother without
saying goodbye. In agony, Qazi sahib wrapped
himself in a blanket and laid down inside. I was
struck dumb, not a single tear rolled. I was
bewildered, wondering what had happened. A sigh
came from my heart, "Sorrows for the buds
that withered before blooming."
"The poor ones forgot happiness
and trade,
The longing martyred, the Jam of
Malir."
Adi Halima said, "Son, Muhammad, you didn’t fare
well with us, poors!” I didn't utter a single
word. I put everything on fate and sat quietly.
Ama said, "Son, you are leaving my body, taking
soul with you." We, the poor, sat silently. What
was His, the Lord took away. And now again, the
same hope, the same lamentation! Qazi sahib
called me and said, "Don't worry, today Ghulam
Muhammad has indeed left us, but sons can be had
again. God is merciful. Ghulam Muhammad had come
just to console us. But the One who sent him is
very merciful. He can bring comfort to us, God
willing. Ghulam Muhammad will come back to us.
Don’t lose hope in God. Allah has said,
“Don't lose hope, do not despair, Allah is
merciful. Don't lose hope in the face of
adversity.”
Can you understand what your mother's state of
mind would have been while writing this? After
three months, there was hope again that my
beloved would be back. I had hope in God that my
beloved would return. The longing continued,
with numerous medicines being administered,
still weakness persisted. One day, the doctor
came to give an injection. He saw me as I was
returning, fetching water from the well. He
said, "Sister, your health condition is not
good. This burden will harm your child." Qazi
Sahib was also present, and he was also told the
same. The next evening, Qazi sahib told Geena
and her mother that the doctor had advised
Fatima not to carry any burdens. "Please do me
this special favor by drawing water from the
well so that she may just carry pitchers one by
one." At that moment, my sister-in-law, Nooran,
also came and said, "Geeni, I exchanged my two
daughters, got my husband re-married, sacrificed
them for a son. You too should pray that you
find comfort under the shade of this tree.”
Tears welled up in your Baba's eyes, but it was
of no use. Within two or three days, suddenly on
Friday, Qazi Sahib went for Friday prayers. We
were called for lunch. I had mild pains in the
morning, which I thought were just usual
discomforts that I experienced in the eighth
month. There was no further news. That day,
Feroz, Kareema's child, was born. A
congratulatory message arrived at eight in the
morning. As soon as I approached the rice pot, I
saw a stream of blood flowing. I became worried,
and Adi said, "What happened?" I exclaimed, "Oh
God," and left the food. Ama, who was always my
support, naturally came. She was always present.
No sooner had a premonition come than she was
sitting there! So she too arrived. I came from
the bathroom. She asked, "What happened?" I told
her the matter. She went immediately to the
midwife. Qazi sahib came; he was informed. He
brought Dr. Jafri. The midwife also arrived. Dr.
Sajjan Sahib was in Diplo; he was brought too.
The doctors asked the midwife. She said, "Ada,
there is no chance of stopping the baby now."
The pains also intensified. Finally, around Asr
(evening prayer) time, the baby was just about
to arrive, but due to excessive bleeding, it
kept receding upwards. Eventually, at six
o'clock, during the Maghrib prayer time – the
same time Ghulam Muhammad had left us – he
arrived. He uttered a faint cry. They blew air
using a pipe stem from a hookah. The doctors,
who were already sitting there, rushed over
immediately. Using a tube, they suctioned out
some water. The baby gave a good cry. He looked
very good, strong, fully formed. They offered
congratulations, saying, "Qazi Sahib, this child
is fine by the grace of Almighty Allah. You
should be thankful, your Ghulam Muhammad has
returned." Everyone was happy, but still, we
were afraid – an eight-month baby, who knows
what might happen? Wrapping in a cotton cloth
and laying in a basket, the two doctors went
home. They came again at night to check. He was
sleeping peacefully. I was also fine. We were
certainly apprehensive, but entrusting him to
Allah, we went to sleep.
Poor Ama did not sleep. One moment by my side,
the next by the baby's basket. I too, every
moment, would ask, "Ama, look at the little one,
isn't he crying?" Ama would say, "Ama, he is
resting peacefully." Until it was four in the
morning, what does Ama see? The air from his
nose was cold. Poor Ama held him to her chest
and checked. Qazi woke up for prayers. He asked,
"Mami, any news?" Ama's heart was sinking, but
she told Qazi sahib, "Aba, he is fine." Morning
came. She said, "Aba, bring the doctor." The
doctor arrived promptly. Seeing the baby, he
said, "Qazi, Allah’s trust has gone back to
Allah. Apparently, there was no such condition,
but, O friend, what can be done! Allah knows His
own wisdom.” I too understood. Qazi Sahib merely
heaved a deep, cold sigh and said,
"The trader's mother sat watching
the paths,
He arrived after twelve months,
but again prepares for a journey!"
-Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai
Look at the workings of fate: the light of our
eyes, Ghulam Muhammad, departed from us on
November 2nd, 1954, and on November 24th, 1955,
he came again, but still, he came only to offer
solace, as if to say, 'Do not grieve at all, I
will now come to you in wellness and safety. The
One who sends me is very merciful.' We said
nothing.
"I thought the guests would stay
forever;
They slaughtered the lowly one
without remorse;
Like a raid in the night, her
peers carried out their victory and departed."
-Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai
Again, the same hope: "My Beloved will take
care of me, I have hope in Allah." What must
have passed! I was still recovering from
childbirth. Rehmu had passed her fourth grade. I
told Qazi Sahib, "Sons are given by Allah, but
let us have Rehmu sit for the scholarship exam."
At first, it took quite a few arguments to
convince Qazi Sahib, but he was very sensible,
moved with the times, held noble thoughts, and
possessed a superior intellect; he agreed with
utmost grace. In this, we involved Mama Abu
Talib, who sought permission from Ada Dr. Saleh
in London for his daughter’s exam. He gave
permission with great pleasure. Roshan and
Mumtaz, Ada Allahdino Allahnani's daughter, also
got ready. But some people in our neighbourhood
criticized harshly: "Only boys are meant to
study! What is this going on now? Girls taking
scholarship exams!!" But we didn't listen to
anyone. Adi Saphu tried very hard for her
daughter Zebu (Zaibunnisa Qazi), but she wasn't
granted permission. Our Rehmu took the
scholarship exam, and came first. The other
girls also passed. Rehmu received 60 rupees for
books and a monthly scholarship of 5 rupees. The
more the servant is faithless, the more is the
Lord merciful!
The same hope, the same lamentation. Years
passed remembering the beloveds. Until, exactly
in the twelfth month, again on November 4th,
1956, Roshan Rani arrived. Shukr Alhamdulillah!
The grief from the continuous loss of three
children had shattered our hearts. We were
overjoyed. We prepared new clothes, bedding,
etc., for Roshan Khan Sahibā [term of
endearment] and welcomed her with great
fondness. Qazi Sahib wrote a letter, saying,
"Raise this little, dear Roshan Rani with utmost
care. Dr. Jafri was requested for care. If this
little child survives, then there might be some
hope that another child will survive, and some
prospect of the arrival of the light of our
eyes, Muhammad, again..." And for Roshan Rani –
she would behave as if saying, "I too will
behave with such airs!" So Sain, Roshan would
stay awake all night – wouldn't sleep even for a
while. We were happy nonetheless. Kept saying
blessings, protection. Sleep had flown away
anyway. We were fearful, lest something unknown
happen. Shukr Alhamdulillah, Roshan was safely
nurtured and grew up. When she was two and a
half years old, Khalida Rani arrived safely. Who
knows why – Allah knows – but upon her birth, I,
Qazi Sahib, and Ama felt such reassurance, as if
the turn for Ghulam Muhammad’s come back was
due. By then, the elder sisters had also grown
up quite a bit. Their education was ongoing, and
they helped out wonderfully and beautifully with
the chores. I had also divided the tasks among
them. Rehmu would make breakfast, Nasim would
clean the utensils, and Aziz would clean the
rooms. The three sisters had virtually confined
me to bed. Then, very nicely dressed, without
any fuss, they would go off to school. I would
prepare the afternoon meal and keep it ready.
The household ran so well, all praise is due to
Allah, the Pure Lord who bestows favours upon
His servants. Despite this, they carried out
their studies responsibly. Allah Sain made them
righteous and virtuous, and Alhamdulillah, they
are all happy in the same manner even now in
their life. Allah Sain has blessed them. The
Sustainer’s favours are such that they are
beyond counting. Roshan and Khalida were raised
with great love and they grew up. Roshan was
enrolled in school at the age of five, as per
custom. During this time, Khalida turned two and
a half. When Khalida turned two, she was weaned.
Sweet breads abound on this ocassion.
When Shahid was seven months in the womb, a
tragic incident occurred. Adi Samani, my sister,
was also expecting. We were all well. In our
house, the anticipation for a son was beyond
limits. One day, she said, "Phatoo, I have one
son; I too desire another, but your desire is
immense. May Allah grant that even if I have a
son in my womb, I get a daughter, but you get a
son." I said, "Adi, Allah Sain can bless us
both." The purpose of writing this is to show
how much affection there was between us –
although, in the womb, only what the Pure Lord
had given would be there. Suddenly, one day,
early in the morning, Adi had a headache. Adi
Bhanbai called me, saying, "Sami is having a
severe headache." I came and saw her, applied
oil, etc. We brought her a pill from Qazi Sahib,
but there was no relief. All day long, efforts
continued. Remedies went on, but nobody knew
that it was an issue related to the child. Her
children were usually born perfectly fine. Who
knew that this was some ill-fated time
approaching? Suddenly, around 3 o'clock,
bleeding started. Seeing it, everyone panicked.
Dr. Ghulam Muhammad, Haji Allahdino's son, was
brought. The midwife came. There were no pains,
etc.; the headache continued. That doctor also
didn't report any such defect. Asr prayer time
arrived. Losing hope in herself, she started
saying, "I am going! I am going!" Adi Bhanbai
only had this one daughter; she was distraught
but could do nothing. The doctor said, "I will
give an injection on trust in God; perhaps it
will help." Just then, the sun was about to set.
He administered the injection. The doctor had
barely reached the tree at the edge of our
neighborhood when there was such a scream that
it united sky and earth. Everyone lost their
senses. Beads of sweat broke out on Adi. That
scream snatched our sister away from us. The
piece of Adi Bhanbai's liver broke. The mother's
shadow lifted from the children. What can I tell
you, what that moment was! Remembering it even
now makes my heart sink. An empathetic
confidante and loyal friend departed. Ah! That
same death, which has grieved, who knows how
many hearts! The poor children kept lamenting,
"Where did Ami suddenly go?"
Adi Bhanbai, poor soul, was already a vessel of
sorrows. When she was little, she was deprived
of her father's shade. Grew up a bit and got
married; nine months passed, bore a son; he, in
turn, gave sorrow right from birth, and after
two months, took his father along with him. The
poor mother and daughter [Adi Samani] fell from
the sky, and even the earth became constricted
for them. But a man, poor creature, is weak,
dependent on God's command – what can he do?
"Woes were acquired in the cradle; grew up,
comforts departed; this humble creature had both
these rugs in her destiny’s ladder.” [Shah
Abdul Latif Bhitai]
In
that fear and dread, my health also deteriorated
considerably, and I fell ill. My belly also
seemed small. Everyone advised, "Go to
Hyderabad. Deliver the child there under the
doctors' consultation." Two months later, we
went to Hyderabad and stayed at Qazi Ahmed
Sahib's house. Accompanying us were Ama, Roshan,
Khalida, and Qazi Sahib himself. We stayed in
Bua and Chacha Molvi Muhammad's room. On Dr.
Saleh Sahib's advice, we consulted Dr. Salar. He
said, “The fetus was very weak; it needed to
stay in the womb for at least two more months.
Take tonics." He prescribed excellent medicines
and food, which we started. Ama would wake up
early for prayers and cook something sweet for
me. Then, Ada Qazi's family would respectfully
give us whatever food was cooked for their
children according to their custom. Our time
passed well, by God's grace. In the midst of
this, what happened was that the children were
playing. Anjuman and Khalida were together.
Roshan was not with them. Playing, they reached
near Firdous Cinema. Khalida, being small,
pretty, and appealing, caught the eye of a
Pathan. He targeted her. Anjuman remained lost
in her own play. In that moment, the Pathan
offered Khalida candy, and picked her up in his
arms and moved slightly aside. Allah Sain is
indeed the great protector of His servant. He
brought Roshan, Ada Qazi Sahib's daughter, and
Baby Gulshan forward. They were returning from
school and were seated in a Tonga. As soon as
they alighted from the tonga they recognized
Khalida's face. They said to each other, "This
is Bua Fatima's daughter, Khalida." They
immediately confronted the Pathan and scolded
him, saying, "This child is ours! Put her down,
or we'll call the police." They also invoked
their father's authority. By then, one or two
other people also gathered. Seeing all this, the
Pathan let go of the girl, saved his own skin,
and fled. They came home, Khalida on the hip,
Anjuman behind. They said, "Bua, who knows where
your Khalida would have been today. Allah Sain
sent us to help." Then they recounted the whole
incident. We too offered thanks. Indeed, Allah
Sain is the great, merciful Master. There is no
deficiency in His grace. Besides, Ada Qazi's
daughters were clever anyway. In those days,
Radio Pakistan had a children's Sindhi program,
Bāran ji Bārī [Children's Nursery].
These girls used to participate in it. My
Roshan, though young, was also very sharp and
intelligent. Her age was five years, but she was
very bright – and still is, Alhamdulillah. One
day, they told me, "Bua, we are taking Roshni."
We also gave permission because I myself was
fond of these things – and still am. So Roshan
went with them. There, they asked her, "What
will you recite?" Roshan recited a beautiful
rhyme on Quaid-e-Azam. Everyone was pleased.
They praised her too.
Every week, we would go to Dr. Salar to check on
my condition. My health began to improve, and
the fetus also became quite healthy. The doctor
became quite satisfied. Finally, by Allah's
grace, two months passed. It was the winter
season. Ama told Qazi Sahib, "Aba, warm clothes
will be needed for the little baby." Qazi Sahib,
trusting in Allah Sain, bought two sweater sets
and one very beautiful, small bedding set from
the market. We were certainly very happy, but
there was a state between fear and hope. By
chance, Masi Rajbai and Mama Abu Talib also came
to visit us. They always used to come for us.
Masi Rajbai prayed aloud, "Allah Sain, preserve
their honor. The poor souls have come with great
hope. Do not let them be embarrassed." That
week, which was the week of Shahid's arrival,
Bhabhi Jana’s midwife, who lived in Kotri, came
home. Bhabhi told her, "Look, this is my
sister-in-law." She examined me and said, "Ama,
congratulations to you, it seems like a son. The
rest is up to your luck! The baby is also
normal; delivery can happen safely at home." We
had absolutely no such intention; however, it
was the first hospital delivery, so there was
fear too. We were weighing pros and cons. We
were certainly anxious in our hearts, but
trusting in Allah, we sat waiting. In the
evening, Ada Abdul Rehman came, saying, "I am
going to bring Nasim from Diplo, because her
Matriculation exam is due." This gave us some
reassurance that Nasim would manage my children.
We were anyway waiting, relying on Allah. In the
evening, Qazi Sahib said, "Mami, Phatu's
condition is uncertain. On top of that, there's
no money left with me. I have seven rupees in my
pocket." It was truly a marvel of nature that
the Lord had given us such peace and contentment
in our hearts that no issue seemed significant
at all. The raft of trust and reliance on Allah
was there, because we had the firm belief that
for the servant, the merciful Master is
sufficient. He is more merciful than all
merciful beings; the servant should never be
disheartened.
We finished the evening meal and
sat down. Ada Qazi Sahib came. He asked, "The
plan for delivery is still the hospital, right?"
Ama replied, "Aba, we have already secured
admission. It is your kindness that you have let
us stay in your home. May Allah reward you for
this, and pray for us too, that He helps us
poor, afflicted ones. May some help come our
way.” Well, Ada left. Everyone fell asleep. But
I felt such pain: My Lord, You who are so
merciful, such a great planner, how can You lift
Your hand from us? We left our homeland, left
our place; now change our destiny, O Lord, take
action for Your poor, sinful servants. But what
could I do? Tears couldn't be held back, tears
that only He, the Sustainer would see. And that
Almighty said, "Do not grieve; the clouds
gathering, no doubt, are dense – but who has
ever stopped the dawn?" Between twelve and
one o'clock at night, the signs of Shahid’s,
bachī shāl (may he remain safe),
arrival began. I understood, as I had
considerable experience before; it was a normal
situation. This dear child caused absolutely no
particular trouble. I bore the pains peacefully.
Until four o'clock, Qazi woke up to go to
Jamesabad. Even otherwise, Qazi would wake at
four for Tahajjud prayers; that was his
routine. Seeing me, he was surprised and asked,
"What's the matter? Is something imminent?" I
said, "There appears nothing like that." Qazi
Sahib called Ama. Ama got up, came, and seeing
my condition, said, "Aba, prepare for the
hospital." He called Iqbal and said, "Aba, help
us." He immediately went and brought a tonga. At
our voices, Bhabhi Jana and Nasim - all woke up.
My two little daughters were asleep. Descending
the stairs, Ama prayed, "Allah Sain, we are
seven heads, uncovered, vulnerable, You cover
our heads. Give a herdsman to this flock of
daughters." Don’t knows what all she was saying!
Finally, we reached Civil Hospital. It was very
crowded. That night, twenty-four babies had
already been born. Starting from the evening,
our child was the twenty-fifth, whose arrival
illuminated us. We were admitted to the ward.
The doctor immediately said that there wasn't
much time left. Qazi Sahib stood outside down
the steps. Even the cold that morning seemed to
say, "If I don't strike today, when will I
ever?" The poor, compelled father, in a state of
hope and fear, pleaded with his Master. The
merciful Master is so kind to His servant,
limitlessly so. That Sain did not make us wait
long. As 6 o'clock when Azan was being called,
Shahid bachī shāl – may Allah Sain grant
him a long life – arrived. Ama conveyed the
pleasing news of congratulations to his aged
Baba. Alhamdulillah! ShukranAllah!
Alhamdulillah!
Great is Your power, You are full
of compassion,
Do not lift Your mercy
from me, I am Yours.
-Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai
How generous is the Lord, that He ended our
years of longing and separation, gave solace to
our broken hearts. And He consoled us: “O
humble servant, never despair of My mercy. I am
nearer to you than your jugular vein.” That
morning seemed so bright to us that even now,
remembering that morning, every vein, every
breath holds such ecstasy, which I am incapable
of describing. And acknowledging Allah Sain's
favors, this voice instantly emerges from the
heart:
In the huts, sounds the
announcement: today Tamachi has arrived,
The fishermens' faces are smiling over the
embankment barrier,
Long is Jam’s life, who blessed the
fisherwomen.
– Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai
Cleanse the huts, Jam Tamachi has
arrived,
Remove the gloom, O Gandriyoon [women of the
Gandar tribe], illuminate the courtyard,
Keenjhar is pacified,
Samo granted his royal patronage.
–
Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai
What can I write and what can I say about how
many favours the Cherisher, the Pure One,
bestowed upon these humble ones. He showed His
grace upon servants wandering in distant lands,
demonstrating: “O humble servant, never
despair of My mercy.” Alhamdulillah,
ShukranAllah, Alhamdulillah. Every single moment
of Shahid bachī shāl's playing in his
cradle – what was it for us! When Tahirani Sahib
heard that Qazi Sahib had been blessed with a
son, he said, "Qazi's age has increased by ten
years." We are simply unable to count the
favours of the Great Creator. Even now, in that
gratitude, day and night, every hour, every
moment passes. We stayed in the hospital for
nine days. The help and guidance Dr. Saleh Sahib
provided – may Allah Sain grant him a great
reward for it. And also Ada Qazi Sahib and
family provided immense help. May Allah Sain
grant them a great reward too. There is no lack
of grace with the Master. Coming to Ada Qazi
Ahmed's house, after preparing sweet dish
according to custom, we then safely came to
Jamesabad. There too was our own home. Joy
abounded. The flow of letters and telegrams set
in.
When Shahid bachī shāl was one and a
quarter months old, Eid Ramzan arrived. Mama
Sahibdino brought his son Nazir and took photos
of Shahid bachī shāl. And at his own
home, he had prepared sweet dish, ordered sweets
and coconut, and gave them to me. Everyone was
very happy. Even the trees seemed joyful at
Shahid's birth! Mama Umer returned from Diplo
after passing Eid days, and Aziz, my daughter,
came with him, as the older sisters were
managing the house. Everyone felt great joy.
They had written such letters that tears
wouldn't stop flowing from our eyes. And the
name "Shahid" was also chosen at Nasim's
suggestion. Otherwise, Chacha Molvi Muhammad had
seen a dream on Friday and told Bua Fatima in
the morning, "Ama, congratulations to you, Ada
Allah Rakhio (Qazi sahib’s father) is coming
back. Ali Muhammad will have a son." He asked
Ada Allah Rakhio in dream, "Where was he going
on a camel?" Upon asking, Ada Allah Rakhio
replied, "My son Ali Muhammad is very lonely. I
am going to him." That was a Friday. Shahid
bachī shāl arrived safely on Sunday,
Alhamdulillah.
Yes, the story of Aziz's arrival was ongoing.
She came straight inside the room. Shahid was
asleep in the cradle, and at that time, teacher
Najma and her mother were sitting with us. Aziz
was already, Masha’Allah, proficient in
singing, but this longing – Ghulam Muhammad had
given it to her. After his departure, she had
fallen ill and became like mad. During her
illness, she would ask, "When will my ruddy pink
Muhammad come?" To such an extent that when
Roshan was born, she came with a great longing
and looked. Seeing her, she said, "Oh! This is a
sister." So, upon sitting by Shahid's cradle,
she sang this verse by Shah Sain, which remains
in our memory forever:
The friend entered the door, the
time for meeting came,
After so many days, the Lord united us with
the beloved,
Separation ended, union occurred, the One
turned the tide,
He whose sight was distant, today He came
near,
Shah Latif says, the
Wondrous One came and bestowed His grace.
Your Baba listened in silence, tears flowing
from his eyes, but the woman who was sitting
there asked in amazement, "Ama, this little
child, this voice, and this longing! What a
voice this is! What words these are! But how did
she come by them? Did you teach them to her?" We
ourselves couldn't even have imagined that these
children possessed such longing. Then she came
outside. Shahid’s appearance was indeed not so
fair. So she said to Ama, “Why does he look like
this!” She had seen Muhammad’s beauty. Ama
laughed and said, “Ama, this is exactly how I
had prayed for him, so Allah Sain has given him
to us, answering exactly my prayers. Now pray
that he has a long life and health, becomes
righteous and virtuous, and fulfills all your
longings, Insha’Allah, Amin.” To us, certainly,
no one else seemed as beautiful. The ghazals
your Baba wrote for him, I won't write them here
as they are already memorials. How many favours
of that Cherisher can we acknowledge? Only and
only this voice remains: Alhamdulillah!
Alhamdulillah!
When Shahid bachī shāl turned two months
old, the elder sisters' longing increased. The
eagerness to see him grew. Bua Halima was also
praying to see him. All near and dear ones, and
Shahid's Amā Waḍī [Elder Mother - Qazi
Sahib's first wife] also sent a word; they were
all happy too, offering prayers. Finally, we had
to come home, so we came. All the family
members, the neighbours, indeed every individual
in the town, spared no effort in coming to offer
congratulations. We went to show him to Adi
Saphu; she was extremely happy and cautioned,
"Protect him from the evil eye." She constantly
gave advice and kept giving him blessings. Bua
Halima, upon seeing Shahid, said:
People ask for wealth,
I ask for the Beloved all day long,
I would sacrifice the world for that Friend
right now,
His name only has exalted, sight afar! |
